


I’m Weak (so why do you think otherwise?)

by scooter3scooter



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Amity Blight Angst, Amity Blight Cries, Amity Blight Has Bad Parents, Amity Blight Needs a Hug, Amity Blight is a Mess, Amity Blight/Luz Noceda Fluff, Bad Parents, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Luz Noceda, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Gay Amity Blight, Gay Disaster Amity Blight, Gen, Hugging, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Amity Blight, Lesbian Character, Mental Breakdown, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pre Relationship, Protective Luz Noceda, Useless Lesbian Amity Blight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27047206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scooter3scooter/pseuds/scooter3scooter
Summary: Today, though I fought to keep my face blank and I willed my legs to walk steady everything everything always falls apart. This time, when I saw Luz leaning against the lockers, my first real friend in years, I crumpled at her giddy, “hey, Amity.” I didn’t have to see my reflection to know my face was as red as Eda’s dress. As I ran away away away from the only person to show me compassion in far too long, I could hear her voice calling after me, “Amity, wait! Where are you going?” I did not turn around as much as part of me begged to, I can’t let myself be that weak.—Luz sees Amity cry for the first time
Relationships: Amity Blight & Luz Noceda, Amity Blight & Luz Noceda & Willow Park, Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 10
Kudos: 203





	I’m Weak (so why do you think otherwise?)

**Author's Note:**

> Tw for kinda a mental breakdown and crying

Normally I did not even have to think about it anymore, my practiced movements have been perfected throughout the years… until Luz came along. My long steady strides and my neutral expression that kept up my mask of confidence always seems to wither when I see that fluffy hair and those matching soft brown eyes. _Everything always withers when I see the person who’s given me more life than I’ve felt in… since I left Willow._

Today, though I fought to keep my face blank and I willed my legs to walk steady everything _everything_ always falls apart. This time, when I saw Luz leaning against the lockers, my first real friend in years, I crumpled at her giddy, “hey, Amity.” I didn’t have to see my reflection to know my face was as red as Eda’s dress. As I ran away away away from the only person to show me compassion in far too long, I could hear her voice calling after me, “Amity, wait! Where are you going?” I did not turn around as much as part of me begged to, _I can’t let myself be that weak._

It took all of the minuscule amount of strength in me to keep my tears at bay until I reached a classroom I knew would be empty during first class. Whipping open the door I practically collapsed inside, shoving myself against the wall my tears finally fell. _Weak weak weak,_ was all I could hear. _I’m so pathetic, if I wasn’t so weak already maybe this wouldn’t be happening. I was weak before, weak with Willow, and now it’s all happening again._

_I should have known better, I_ did _know better and yet… and yet I had the audacity to let my stupid feelings take control._

I didn’t hear the door opening until it was too late, my instincts still took over though. I feverishly wiped the tears off my face and choked down my sob like I was far too used to doing, “what are you doing here, Luz?” _I swear I didn’t mean to snap._

Though instead of anger like she had every right to, her face only fell more, “you ran away before I could even talk to you, I wanted to make sure you’re okay,” she explained as if my world isn’t falling apart. _I’ve spent years making my mask flawless, so no one could see the ruins inside, and yet she can see through it all so easily._ Before I could think of an excuse to get her to leave, she asked gently, “can I give you a hug?”

I could not help but ask, “what?” And before I knew it she was sitting down next to me and her arms were wrapped around me and _and if she didn’t think I was a broken weak mess before there was no doubt now._ “Wh- Why?” I blubbered out like an absolute baby. 

She simply smiled at me, “just because I don’t know why you’re sad doesn’t mean I can’t help.” _If I was any bit weaker I would have let her…_

“No,” I told her as much as it went against everything I craved, “you need to go, Luz,” I tried to steel my voice to the best of my abilities despite the tears pressing against my eyes. “Please just go,” I did not mean for my voice to wobble as much as my legs were earlier. 

She did not release me from her gentle grip and I did not push her away as much as I knew I should. “It’s okay to cry, it’s not bad. It’s not weak,” she told me _but that doesn’t make sense. Crying is always weakness, emotion is weakness. Everything about me is weak and weak and weak._ She reached her hand out before I could stop her, placing it on my cheek. Her thumb ran back and forth, wiping away the tears I didn’t even realize were falling, “you’re the strongest person I know, crying doesn’t make you less strong.” _She’s being so… intimate. This is what I’ve wanted for what feels like forever and it’s finally here and I- I can’t have it._

As much as I fought it, a sob came out of me and yet Luz only pulled me closer. _I’m supposed to push her away. I’m supposed to leave her like I left Willow… if I don’t who knows what my parents will do to her, or to Eda. I’ll ruin everything no matter what, it’s a lose lose situation. All because of my weakness I’ll ruin everything good in my life again._ “You- you need to go,” I cried, “I need to leave,” I practically begged her through my suffocating sobs, “need to keep you safe.”

“What are you talking about?” She asked through the embrace, “keep me safe from what?” I couldn’t even get out the single word ‘parents’ above a whisper. “Like with what happened between you and Willow?” To which I only have an ashamed nod in response. _This was never supposed to happen again. I was keeping Luz away from my parents… it’s my fault, I never should have let her near Emira and Edric_ . _I should have known they would have let it slip that I’m friends with the infamous human._ “I’m not upset with you,” she told me after a few harbored breaths.

I shook my head, “you should be though. I ruined everything again! I should have known better, I actually thought things could get better. I thought I could make it up to Willow and I thought I could have real friends for once and I thought that-” thankfully I stopped myself before I could admit my deepest secret of all. 

She gave me another one of those smiles of hers, though it had a bit too much sadness behind it, “it’s not your fault your parents don’t treat you how they should. I’m not gonna hate you for that. And I’m not gonna leave you either.” _I could never deserve her… she’s everything I wish I could be._

My voice came out in a broken whisper, “they’re trying to make me leave you…” I took a shaky breath before continuing, focusing on the feel of her arms still wrapped protectively around me, “I’m not strong enough to stand up to them.” _No ones ever held me like this before, or at all really. And as wrong as it is I never want it to end._

“What if we stood up to them together?” She asked like it was so simple, “me, you, Willow, and Gus. You don’t have to do it alone.” _She makes everything sound so simple, so light. Like if I let her she could put all the broken pieces of the world back together, fixing the cracks with gold._ When I asked if she really was willing to, she let out a small laugh. But it wasn’t at me like Boscha always does. “Of course, I’m with you, Amity. And I have no doubt Willow and Gus will be too.” 

I pulled back just enough to look her in the eyes, “thank you, Luz,” and it took everything in me not to lean forward until it was more than just our arms touching. _Not today._

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Owl House fic and it was really fun to try to write Amity. I hadn’t been inspired to write in a couple weeks so it was nice to do something easy, though I did not proof read sorry. I’d like to maybe make this into a one shot series but I dunno. Thank you for reading :)


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